I generally think of myself as a "glass-half-full" type of person. At least, I'm optimistic more often than pessimistic, but grad school is sucking this positive world view out of me. And its making me fatter! In 2008 I had lost 26 pounds, and during the last year and half (grad school!) I've packed back on 15 of those pounds. I'm feeling fed up, and embarrassed. I'm unhealthy, uncomfortable and unmotivated. I'm sitting down to create a schedule to hopefully get back on track and create time for workouts. I feel like I need to have a sign around my neck that indicates my lack of self control, and cautions the general public from feeding me, or more generally, having food in their possession when around me.
I hate when people give tips like "you can do it" or "your not that fat" or "i'll be your workout buddy". sometimes....I just need to vent, get over my disordered relationship to both exercise and foods (specifically prepackaged hydrogenated, sugar and fat saturated food that I'm ADDICTED to), and do better. No one can encourage me toward that but myself. No one can want it for me buy myself. So...if you should hear me complain, please just acknowledge that its a struggle and a process and that most of us experience this issue at some time in life. No cures, no pep talks. Sometimes those of us who often exist as listeners just want to voice some of our own complaints.
That is all. thanks for reading.
hopefully i can report back to you as i get less fat and more healthy. hopefully...
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